All 100 Gen 2 Pokémon: Ranked from Worst to Best
I made the error of ranking all 151 Pokemon originals from worst to most. Despite the death threats and people trying to get me to stop writing, a few people said that they enjoyed it. Thank you, mom.
Nevertheless, years later, I still have nothing better to do and dislike myself. So, I decided to rank and tackle all 100 Gen 2 Pokémon. Lucky you.
Before we get started, there are two things you should know. One, about 70% of Gen 2 Pokemon were forgettable. Two, I could tell Google not to take my list too seriously (like with the previous one), but it rarely listens when it comes lighthearted articles about games aimed at children – and why would it?
Shuckle has no purpose whatsoever, and it may be the worst Pokemon ever. Shuckle is a Pokemon that I am aware of, just like Adam Sandler in movies. I wish I were.
Qwilfish is a cartoon pufferfish. Why would you choose a pufferfish as a Pokemon when dragons, ghosts, and other cool shitlike options?
Do you? Well? Do you?
It is likely that someone was making Pokemon Gold & Silver and forgot it was their turn. So they created this—a lump of coral.
97 – Dunsparce
Although most Pokemon cannot speak, it could use its vocal chords to plead for the sweet release from death.
I will call you a fool if you tell me that you don’t remember this Pokemon being there.
It just seems a little dumb. Ledyba would not be able to use scissors without supervision from an adult, like I wouldn’t trust.
94 : Chinchou
They are cute but not very interesting. They’re sort of memes with Despicable me Minions on the bottom for any woman who isn’t a middle-aged woman on Facebook.
There is a Friends/Chandler Bing reference somewhere in there, but I can’t be arsed. Stantler, that’s how much I care about you.
92 – Smoochum
It’s a mistake to try too hard to be cute. This is evident in Smoochum.
Igglypuff is a bit like an intelligent testicle, which I hadn’t noticed until now.
Paris Hilton would carry a Snubbull in her handbag if she existed in the Pokemon world.
I find everything about this long, blue piss streak irritating. Its horrible raspy screams and the way it flails around its torso irritate me. Revolting.
Sentret is cute, but I don’t think so. We’ve all spent our early game grind beating Gold & Silverdozens upon dozens of these cute little creatures to get to the top, in order to achieve our goals of being “the best”.
It’s all too much guilt that keeps me awake at night.
87 – Hoothoot
Hoothoot would not be on the list so low if it weren’t for its name. Seriously? An owl named Hoothoot?! Is there a Barkbark dog Pokemon? Or Meow, the cat Pokemon
86 : Pineco
Fun fact: Pineco refers to the sound someone makes just seconds before a pinecone is flies towards them and knocks their head out.
You have probably finished reading this and gone to the comments to request my resignation. I have “clearly never” played a Pokémon game in all my life.
84 : Cleffa
I love Pokémon. Cleffa, as cute as it is, can be thrown away, just like this article. In a humorous way. This is meant to be a little bit of fun.
83 : Natu
People would stop messaging me to inform me that I don’t know metagame or Effort Vals. They’d likely realize that Natu is the original Flappy Bird and they wouldn’t believe me. Importantly, I didn’t say “funny”, but “stupid”.
Anyway! Sunflora is a promising brand for low-fat margarine.
Hoppip is a truly adorable pet. It would be my pet, and I would water it every night.
Get me a Hoppip.
If Ray Winstone were a Pokemon, he would be a Granbull. Probably.
This Pokemon is what robots dream about.
78 – Wooper
Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. He is in his right lane. Focused. Focused.
Yes, Unown are not very useful, but they were once genuinely mysterious and an interesting idea for a Pokemon.
Do you remember this Pokemon? Yes, I did. It is quite cute though.
It’s only recently that I realized that Spinarak has six legs and not eight. My world is now utterly destroyed.
A creature that was clearly meant to replace Pikachu is born into every generation of Pokemon. Marill, I believe, is that creature.
Although I don’t remember if you’ve seen Adventure Time yet, I can’t look at Phanphy and not think of Tree Trunks.
What isTyrogue It looks just like a little sickly child who is about to tell the world it’s his turn to play on the Xbox
Question: Togepi appears to be wearing a part of the egg it just hatched from as a shell. Is that what the other newly hatched Pokemon are doing? Nintendo, I am SICK and TIRED at the inconsistencies.
Yes, I’m sure.
It is almost impossible, to be honest with God, to find anything interesting about the Gen 2 Pokemon thus far. Take a look at this. It’s a Ferret. What can I do with it?
This one? This fish is pretty normal in appearance. If you thought Pokemon ran out of ideas later, then you should revisit Gen 2. This is a terrible idea. I would rather have sentient icecream.
It’s an owl. I don’t know what you want.
Similar to the other pinecone, but larger… so, I guess it’s better? I don’t really know. I don’t care. Anybody who spends more time than ten minutes trying to think of something to say about a Pokemon that nobody remembers should have a word.
You know, I studied journalism at university. It is amazing how it happened.
Gen 2 isn’t completely rubbish, okay? Bayleef is quite cute.
Mantine is very cute. Fly on, fishy dude. Fly on.
Could someone please explain how Octillery evolved from Remoraid. It’s a mystery to me, and I accept that Magikarp is now Gyarados.
Skiploom is the mate we all have. He’s tiny and adorable, but will fight for your honor if necessary.
It’s a baby Pikachu. A baby Pikachu is a wonderful pet. It can be passively ranked at number 60.
Jumpluff is a nobler creature than I am. Its name is a little like “bum fluff”.
It uses its tail to paint and has a beret-shaped head. It is also a monkey so I love it.
Is Smeargle a monkey, or a squirrel? It was always what I assumed. Please attach any death threats to which you would like to include the answer if you are certain what Smeargle is.
Blissey works as a nurse so it is likely that she is overworked and grossly underpaid. Blissey is very professional and adorable. Blissey is a nurse that I have known and loved.
Murkrow would have been much more easily dismissed if they had chosen a simple crow design. Murkrow looks almost like it’s in a goth outfit so I give it 55.
Pupitar is somewhat similar to Metapod or Kakuna in concept, but it’s not completely useless. It evolves into a cool dragon that we will meet later. Nice work, Pupitar.
Magby is right where he belongs because I didn’t believe Magmar could look cute. However, the lumpy head is quite freaky.
We’re now in the top 50. You’ll notice that we have reached the Gen 2 Pokemon, which are really cool. Houndour is an absolutely amazing pup. There are no two ways about this.
Swinub is far too precious to be in this world.
The mythical Pokemon are all around us these days, and it has become almost meaningless to call them “mythical”. We lived in simpler times when Celebi and Mew were all that existed.
Bellossom is a very well-designed Pokemon. It is easy to see the purpose and meaning of Bellossom just by looking at it. It’s really great work.
If you are here to hear me criticize this literal teddy bear then I’m happy to say you will be disappointed.
Slugma is simply way cooler than any fiery slug. It’s not clear who would use it in a team, though.
Mareep already cracked that wittyPhilip K. Dick quip so I don’t know what to do. I will find something better when we reach Ampharos.
Is this a big, fat bird who carries a large bag of gifts around? What is it notto love?
Remember Miltank at the third gym in Pokemon Silver/Gold? Holy Mother of God, that was the most difficult difficulty spike I have ever seen in a game.
Girafarig’s tail is smart and can bite you if you don’t like it. Although I don’t really care about the front of this Pokemon, the back is something I find very relatable.
Porygon doesn’t need a sequel. Studio these days must milk everything, I swear.
Nintendo and this Pokemon made it possible for me to spend a lot more time convinced that slugs actually grew into snails.
It took me far too long to realize that Sudowoodo was a grass-type. Sudowoodo was a freaky man.
Sneasel is a very similar character to the 2006 Sonic The Hedgehog movie, except that it doesn’t have an annoying name or pointless backstory.
Although I have always believed that most bug Pokemon were very lame, I am happy to report that Heracross is one exception to the rule.
Although I don’t think I would be thrilled if my once adorable Teddy Bear turned into this terrifying beast, it wouldn’t hurt to keep Ursaring on your side in an emergency.
Senient Beatles haircut featuring tusks and an inclination to destroy your favorite electric Pokemon.
Larvitar dreams of becoming a man. It is full of potential. At 14 years old, Larvitar is basically everyone. Unfortunately, Larvitar becomes a powerful dragon Pokemon but most of us become anxious underachievers and spend too much time looking at memes pretending that Brexit and Climate Change won’t ruin us.
It is basically an elephant wearing battle armour. There is nothing wrong with this. Absolutely nothing.
My mind says that Misdreavous is Marge Simpson’s ghost. Why? Because of the big hair and red pearl necklace. You can prove me wrong.
It is hard to believe that these “spider Pokemon” only have six legs. Is this a mistake? Is Nintendo too afraid to admit that a designer forgot two extra legs, so they just continue to tell this horrible lie to the world? We won’t know. The color scheme is great.
Azumarill is a cute little guy that looks a lot like an Easter egg, complete with bunny ears. Enjoy 31st place, lil’ buddy.
I will be honest with you. I have no idea why Yanma was placed at 30th. It felt just right. It just felt right. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel right to you, it’s on my list.
Quagsire just seems cute to me, okay? It can also use water moves and resists electric attacks. This makes it just as useful as adorable. It is a great addition to any Elite Four team.
Togetic’s energy is what I love. It seems like the type of Pokemon that you could take to a Tame Impala concert with. It would buy tickets for you both and then it’d be like, “hey, pay me back whenever possible.” Then you’d never repay it.
You can’t be a douche to your Crobat if you want to be a Crobat. Give it love. Maybe take it out to dinner and give it a massage afterwards.
Xatu has the ability to see into the future and past, which is quite cool. Sadly, Xatu didn’t bother to use this incredible power to warn us about 2020.
This ladybird looks like it could take you out with one punch. Is it possible to find ladybirds that look this amazing? It’s not many.
Croconaw would be the Pokemon that played drums in a punk group if he were a Pokemon.
The aeroplane was not invented by the human race until 1999’s Pokemon Gold/Silver, when it became evident that metal birds existed and flourished. True story.
This adorable flower horse… thing is just too cute to be true. It’s not clear what it is, but I don’t care. Meganium is a positive person.
It’s a Onix, but it’s sleeker and made out of metal. This is a truly amazing Pokemon design.
A tiny green creature with a little leaf on his head. We love you.
In the past I have had to say some very harsh things about Cyndaquil. This was met with a fierce wave of hatred from my family and friends. To avoid any further upset, I have decided to place it in the top 20,
Elekid is a great tool. I discovered that the article’s draft ranking was shaped almost like a plug when I created it. Although it’s subtle, I love it.
Although I have issues with Cyndaquil, Quilava is a great product. It’s Cyndaquils cool college phase.
Although it doesn’t look like a sheep, that’s okay. Ampharos is far greater than any creature that has a bauble stuck to its forehead.
Any Pokemon who can sing as well as Africa deserves to be in this top 20.
Houndoom is one of the most death-metal looking Pokemon.
Although slowking is absurd, I still love it. It looks a lot like Homer Simpson. It does!
Lugia is a beautiful looking Pokemon. Anyone who has ever seen Pokemon 2000back then will recall how cool it was and how thrilling it was to finally track it down in Silver.
Raikou is a great doggo. However, I think it’s one of the weakest Legendary dogsgos. It’s nose reminds me a lot of Mermaid Man in Spongebob Squarepants. That’s a bell that I cannot easily un-ring.
We are at the top ten most coveted. We can just do this, I’m tired. Kingrda is my partner in crime, a beast that combines both the power and majesty a sea horse with the raw strength of a dragon. It shouldn’t, but it works.
Pokemon Crystal has been called the greatest Pokemon game ever. There are no arguments. It is Suicune, the graceful cover star of the game.
Feraligatr looks as though it would tear your throat out if it got a drink in a pub or if you disagree with it on Brexit.
To be clear, I am not suggesting which Feraligtr vote for Brexit.
Espeon is the second-best Eevee evolution and the most famous Pokemon of all time. Beautiful, powerful, and classy. Unfortunately, these are the only words that have ever been used to describe my personality.
I thought Scyther was cool. Then I discovered Scizor. . It appears to be a robotically-enhanced bug alien sent to Earth to destroy the planet.
I was astonished at his size, absolute unit, etc.
Entei is a large and fluffy doggo. It is also known as the harbinger for fiery death.
Super powerful, great name, awesome look. This is probably the first starter Pokemon that most of us took to the Elite Four in Silver. This is a top-three favorite Pokemon.
Ho-Oh is a beautiful Pokémon. The anime’s first episode was the reason that I have remained glued to this legendary Pokemon for the longest time. It’s a story I know you will remember well.
It was the first time Ash had seen it, and I knew that I wanted to learn more.
Perhaps it’s because I grew up listening to My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy, and Umbreon was my entire aesthetic at that time.
Perhaps it’s because it’s one the most useful Pokemon in Gen 2 (and beyond), but I still have room for it in every Pokemon game.
No matter what, Umbreon is brilliant. Most will agree that it should be number one. You can tell me what you feel, and I will probably ignore you.