All 100 Gen 2 Pokémon: Ranked from Worst to Best
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All 100 Gen 2 Pokémon: Ranked from Worst to Best

All 100 Gen 2 Pokémon: Ranked from Worst to Best

All 100 Gen 2 Pokémon: Ranked from Worst to Best

I made the error of ranking all 151 Pokemon originals from worst to most. Despite the death threats and people trying to get me to stop writing, a few people said that they enjoyed it. Thank you, mom.

Nevertheless, years later, I still have nothing better to do and dislike myself. So, I decided to rank and tackle all 100 Gen 2 Pokémon. Lucky you.

Before we get started, there are two things you should know. One, about 70% of Gen 2 Pokemon were forgettable. Two, I could tell Google not to take my list too seriously (like with the previous one), but it rarely listens when it comes lighthearted articles about games aimed at children – and why would it?

100: Shuckle

Shuckle / Credit: Nintendo

Shuckle has no purpose whatsoever, and it may be the worst Pokemon ever. Shuckle is a Pokemon that I am aware of, just like Adam Sandler in movies. I wish I were.

 

99: Qwilfish

Qwilfish is a cartoon pufferfish. Why would you choose a pufferfish as a Pokemon when dragons, ghosts, and other cool shitlike options?

Do you? Well? Do you?

 

98 Corsola

It is likely that someone was making Pokemon Gold & Silver and forgot it was their turn. So they created this—a lump of coral.

97 – Dunsparce

 

Although most Pokemon cannot speak, it could use its vocal chords to plead for the sweet release from death.

96 Sunkern

I will call you a fool if you tell me that you don’t remember this Pokemon being there.

95: Ledyba

Ledyba / Credit: Nintendo

It just seems a little dumb. Ledyba would not be able to use scissors without supervision from an adult, like I wouldn’t trust.

94 : Chinchou

They are cute but not very interesting. They’re sort of memes with Despicable me Minions on the bottom for any woman who isn’t a middle-aged woman on Facebook.

93 Stantler

There is a Friends/Chandler Bing reference somewhere in there, but I can’t be arsed. Stantler, that’s how much I care about you.

92 – Smoochum

It’s a mistake to try too hard to be cute. This is evident in Smoochum.

91: Igglybuff

Igglybuff / Credit: Nintendo

Igglypuff is a bit like an intelligent testicle, which I hadn’t noticed until now.

90: Snubbull

Paris Hilton would carry a Snubbull in her handbag if she existed in the Pokemon world.

89: Wobbuffet

I find everything about this long, blue piss streak irritating. Its horrible raspy screams and the way it flails around its torso irritate me. Revolting.

88: Sentret

Sentret is cute, but I don’t think so. We’ve all spent our early game grind beating Gold & Silverdozens upon dozens of these cute little creatures to get to the top, in order to achieve our goals of being “the best”.

It’s all too much guilt that keeps me awake at night.

87 – Hoothoot

Hoothoot would not be on the list so low if it weren’t for its name. Seriously? An owl named Hoothoot?! Is there a Barkbark dog Pokemon? Or Meow, the cat Pokemon

86 : Pineco

Fun fact: Pineco refers to the sound someone makes just seconds before a pinecone is flies towards them and knocks their head out.

85 Lanturn

Lanturn / Credit: Nintendo

You have probably finished reading this and gone to the comments to request my resignation. I have “clearly never” played a Pokémon game in all my life.

84 : Cleffa

I love Pokémon. Cleffa, as cute as it is, can be thrown away, just like this article. In a humorous way. This is meant to be a little bit of fun.

83 : Natu

People would stop messaging me to inform me that I don’t know metagame or Effort Vals. They’d likely realize that Natu is the original Flappy Bird and they wouldn’t believe me. Importantly, I didn’t say “funny”, but “stupid”.

82 Sunflora

Anyway! Sunflora is a promising brand for low-fat margarine.

81 Hoppip

Hoppip is a truly adorable pet. It would be my pet, and I would water it every night.

Get me a Hoppip.

80 Granbull

If Ray Winstone were a Pokemon, he would be a Granbull. Probably.

79 Mareep

This Pokemon is what robots dream about.

78 – Wooper

Wooper / Credit: Nintendo

Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. He is in his right lane. Focused. Focused.

77 Unown

Yes, Unown are not very useful, but they were once genuinely mysterious and an interesting idea for a Pokemon.

76: Politoed

Do you remember this Pokemon? Yes, I did. It is quite cute though.

Spinarak 75

It’s only recently that I realized that Spinarak has six legs and not eight. My world is now utterly destroyed.

Marill

Marill / Credit: Pokemon

A creature that was clearly meant to replace Pikachu is born into every generation of Pokemon. Marill, I believe, is that creature.

73: Phanpy

Although I don’t remember if you’ve seen Adventure Time yet, I can’t look at Phanphy and not think of Tree Trunks.

72: Tyrogue

What isTyrogue It looks just like a little sickly child who is about to tell the world it’s his turn to play on the Xbox

71: Togepi

Question: Togepi appears to be wearing a part of the egg it just hatched from as a shell. Is that what the other newly hatched Pokemon are doing? Nintendo, I am SICK and TIRED at the inconsistencies.

70: Gligar

Yes, I’m sure.

Furret

Furret / Credit: Nintendo

It is almost impossible, to be honest with God, to find anything interesting about the Gen 2 Pokemon thus far. Take a look at this. It’s a Ferret. What can I do with it?

68: Remoraid

This one? This fish is pretty normal in appearance. If you thought Pokemon ran out of ideas later, then you should revisit Gen 2. This is a terrible idea. I would rather have sentient icecream.

67: Noctowl

It’s an owl. I don’t know what you want.

66: Forretress

Similar to the other pinecone, but larger… so, I guess it’s better? I don’t really know. I don’t care. Anybody who spends more time than ten minutes trying to think of something to say about a Pokemon that nobody remembers should have a word.

65: Aipom

You know, I studied journalism at university. It is amazing how it happened.

64: Bayleef

Bayleef / Credit: Nintendo

Gen 2 isn’t completely rubbish, okay? Bayleef is quite cute.

63: Mantine

Mantine is very cute. Fly on, fishy dude. Fly on.

62: Octillery

Could someone please explain how Octillery evolved from Remoraid. It’s a mystery to me, and I accept that Magikarp is now Gyarados.

Skiploom

Skiploom is the mate we all have. He’s tiny and adorable, but will fight for your honor if necessary.

60: Pichu

Pichu / Credit: Nintendo

It’s a baby Pikachu. A baby Pikachu is a wonderful pet. It can be passively ranked at number 60.

59: Jumpluff

Jumpluff is a nobler creature than I am. Its name is a little like “bum fluff”.

58: Smeargle

It uses its tail to paint and has a beret-shaped head. It is also a monkey so I love it.

Is Smeargle a monkey, or a squirrel? It was always what I assumed. Please attach any death threats to which you would like to include the answer if you are certain what Smeargle is.

57: Hitmontop

Hitmonbottom’s boyfriend.

56: Blissey

Blissey works as a nurse so it is likely that she is overworked and grossly underpaid. Blissey is very professional and adorable. Blissey is a nurse that I have known and loved.

55: Murkrow

Murkrow / Credit: Nintendo

Murkrow would have been much more easily dismissed if they had chosen a simple crow design. Murkrow looks almost like it’s in a goth outfit so I give it 55.

54: Pupitar

Pupitar is somewhat similar to Metapod or Kakuna in concept, but it’s not completely useless. It evolves into a cool dragon that we will meet later. Nice work, Pupitar.

53: Magby

Magby is right where he belongs because I didn’t believe Magmar could look cute. However, the lumpy head is quite freaky.

52: Houndour

We’re now in the top 50. You’ll notice that we have reached the Gen 2 Pokemon, which are really cool. Houndour is an absolutely amazing pup. There are no two ways about this.

51: Swinub

Swinub is far too precious to be in this world.

50: Celebi

The mythical Pokemon are all around us these days, and it has become almost meaningless to call them “mythical”. We lived in simpler times when Celebi and Mew were all that existed.

49: Bellossom

Bellossom / Credit: Nintendo

Bellossom is a very well-designed Pokemon. It is easy to see the purpose and meaning of Bellossom just by looking at it. It’s really great work.

48: Teddiursa

If you are here to hear me criticize this literal teddy bear then I’m happy to say you will be disappointed.

47: Slugma

Slugma is simply way cooler than any fiery slug. It’s not clear who would use it in a team, though.

46: Flaaffy

Mareep already cracked that wittyPhilip K. Dick quip so I don’t know what to do. I will find something better when we reach Ampharos.

45: Delibird

Is this a big, fat bird who carries a large bag of gifts around? What is it notto love?

44: Miltank

Remember Miltank at the third gym in Pokemon Silver/Gold? Holy Mother of God, that was the most difficult difficulty spike I have ever seen in a game.

43: Girafarig

Girafarig / Credit: Nintendo

Girafarig’s tail is smart and can bite you if you don’t like it. Although I don’t really care about the front of this Pokemon, the back is something I find very relatable.

42: Porygon2

Porygon doesn’t need a sequel. Studio these days must milk everything, I swear.

41: Magcargo

Nintendo and this Pokemon made it possible for me to spend a lot more time convinced that slugs actually grew into snails.

40: Sudowoodo

It took me far too long to realize that Sudowoodo was a grass-type. Sudowoodo was a freaky man.

39: Sneasel

Sneasel is a very similar character to the 2006 Sonic The Hedgehog movie, except that it doesn’t have an annoying name or pointless backstory.

38: Heracross

Although I have always believed that most bug Pokemon were very lame, I am happy to report that Heracross is one exception to the rule.

37: Ursaring

Although I don’t think I would be thrilled if my once adorable Teddy Bear turned into this terrifying beast, it wouldn’t hurt to keep Ursaring on your side in an emergency.

36: Piloswine

Senient Beatles haircut featuring tusks and an inclination to destroy your favorite electric Pokemon.

35: Larvitar

Larvitar dreams of becoming a man. It is full of potential. At 14 years old, Larvitar is basically everyone. Unfortunately, Larvitar becomes a powerful dragon Pokemon but most of us become anxious underachievers and spend too much time looking at memes pretending that Brexit and Climate Change won’t ruin us.

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34: Donphan

It is basically an elephant wearing battle armour. There is nothing wrong with this. Absolutely nothing.

33: Misdain

My mind says that Misdreavous is Marge Simpson’s ghost. Why? Because of the big hair and red pearl necklace. You can prove me wrong.

32: Ariados

It is hard to believe that these “spider Pokemon” only have six legs. Is this a mistake? Is Nintendo too afraid to admit that a designer forgot two extra legs, so they just continue to tell this horrible lie to the world? We won’t know. The color scheme is great.

31: Azumarill

Azumarill is a cute little guy that looks a lot like an Easter egg, complete with bunny ears. Enjoy 31st place, lil’ buddy.

30: Yanma

I will be honest with you. I have no idea why Yanma was placed at 30th. It felt just right. It just felt right. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel right to you, it’s on my list.

29: Quagsire

Quagsire / Credit: Nintendo

Quagsire just seems cute to me, okay? It can also use water moves and resists electric attacks. This makes it just as useful as adorable. It is a great addition to any Elite Four team.

28: Togetic

Togetic’s energy is what I love. It seems like the type of Pokemon that you could take to a Tame Impala concert with. It would buy tickets for you both and then it’d be like, “hey, pay me back whenever possible.” Then you’d never repay it.

27: Crobat

You can’t be a douche to your Crobat if you want to be a Crobat. Give it love. Maybe take it out to dinner and give it a massage afterwards.

26: Xatu

Xatu has the ability to see into the future and past, which is quite cool. Sadly, Xatu didn’t bother to use this incredible power to warn us about 2020.

25: Ledian

This ladybird looks like it could take you out with one punch. Is it possible to find ladybirds that look this amazing? It’s not many.

24: Croconaw

Croconaw / Credit: Nintendo

Croconaw would be the Pokemon that played drums in a punk group if he were a Pokemon.

23: Skarmory

The aeroplane was not invented by the human race until 1999’s Pokemon Gold/Silver, when it became evident that metal birds existed and flourished. True story.

22: Meganium

This adorable flower horse… thing is just too cute to be true. It’s not clear what it is, but I don’t care. Meganium is a positive person.

21: Steelix

It’s a Onix, but it’s sleeker and made out of metal. This is a truly amazing Pokemon design.

20: Chikorita

A tiny green creature with a little leaf on his head. We love you.

19: Cyndaquil

In the past I have had to say some very harsh things about Cyndaquil. This was met with a fierce wave of hatred from my family and friends. To avoid any further upset, I have decided to place it in the top 20,

18: Elekid

Elekid / Credit: Nintendo

Elekid is a great tool. I discovered that the article’s draft ranking was shaped almost like a plug when I created it. Although it’s subtle, I love it.

17: Quilava

Although I have issues with Cyndaquil, Quilava is a great product. It’s Cyndaquils cool college phase.

16: Ampharos

Although it doesn’t look like a sheep, that’s okay. Ampharos is far greater than any creature that has a bauble stuck to its forehead.

15: Totodile

Any Pokemon who can sing as well as Africa deserves to be in this top 20.

14: Houndoom

Houndoom is one of the most death-metal looking Pokemon.

13: Slowking

Although slowking is absurd, I still love it. It looks a lot like Homer Simpson. It does!

12: Lugia

Lugia is a beautiful looking Pokemon. Anyone who has ever seen Pokemon 2000back then will recall how cool it was and how thrilling it was to finally track it down in Silver.

11: Raikou

Raikou / Credit: Nintendo

Raikou is a great doggo. However, I think it’s one of the weakest Legendary dogsgos. It’s nose reminds me a lot of Mermaid Man in Spongebob Squarepants. That’s a bell that I cannot easily un-ring.

10: Kingdra

We are at the top ten most coveted. We can just do this, I’m tired. Kingrda is my partner in crime, a beast that combines both the power and majesty a sea horse with the raw strength of a dragon. It shouldn’t, but it works.

9: Suicune

Pokemon Crystal has been called the greatest Pokemon game ever. There are no arguments. It is Suicune, the graceful cover star of the game.

8:Feraligatr

Feraligatr looks as though it would tear your throat out if it got a drink in a pub or if you disagree with it on Brexit.

To be clear, I am not suggesting which Feraligtr vote for Brexit.

7:Espeon

Espeon / Credit: Nintendo

Espeon is the second-best Eevee evolution and the most famous Pokemon of all time. Beautiful, powerful, and classy. Unfortunately, these are the only words that have ever been used to describe my personality.

6: Scizor

I thought Scyther was cool. Then I discovered Scizor. . It appears to be a robotically-enhanced bug alien sent to Earth to destroy the planet.

5: Tyranitar

I was astonished at his size, absolute unit, etc.

4: Entei

Entei is a large and fluffy doggo. It is also known as the harbinger for fiery death.

3: Typhlosion

Super powerful, great name, awesome look. This is probably the first starter Pokemon that most of us took to the Elite Four in Silver. This is a top-three favorite Pokemon.

2: Ho-Oh

Ho-Oh is a beautiful Pokémon. The anime’s first episode was the reason that I have remained glued to this legendary Pokemon for the longest time. It’s a story I know you will remember well.

It was the first time Ash had seen it, and I knew that I wanted to learn more.

1: Umbreon

Perhaps it’s because I grew up listening to My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy, and Umbreon was my entire aesthetic at that time.

Perhaps it’s because it’s one the most useful Pokemon in Gen 2 (and beyond), but I still have room for it in every Pokemon game.

No matter what, Umbreon is brilliant. Most will agree that it should be number one. You can tell me what you feel, and I will probably ignore you.

All 100 Gen 2 Pokémon: Ranked from Worst to Best
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